Past Lives and Present Fears


Fears.

We all have them. We have all allowed our fears to hold us back from doing something we wanted or needed to do, just as we have all overcome those fears for those very reasons. Some of these fears are normal, every day, run of the mill stuff.

But what about the fears that aren't logical? The ones that have always been with you? The ones that paralyze you to even think about let alone experience?

Enter the past.

The crippling fears, phobias, whatever you wish to call them, are almost always carried over from extremely traumatic events and scenarios, sometimes involving death, during a specific lifetime.

How can this be? you may ask. I don't remember any other lives that I may have lived. You may not, but your soul remembers. Your unconscious mind has stored all of these memories for you to access through feelings, emotions, and dreams to help guide you through the current life you're living, although, the fear part I could do without.

Spiders:

I've always been freaked out by spiders - lots of people are...they're just freaky (no offense, spiders, just stay outside). In my younger days, I was terrified to go anywhere where spiders may have been lurking, yelled for my dad whenever there was one in my room or across my path, and have even been known to throw shoes at them. My dad bought me an Ortho Home Defense Max sprayer when I moved out during college since he wouldn't be there to take care of the spiders for me.

I once begged my parents to drive to my part time job to pick me up after I spotted a rather fat, fuzzy, black and white spider sitting in the driver's seat of my car before scampering underneath the seat and out of sight. It took me over an hour to get into my car, sped the entire way home, drawn up into myself as far as I could while still being able to drive, shaking and crying while my eyes darted all around. Even though I still freeze when I initially see them, and they're large, I force myself to take care of it. I did suck one up with the vacuum cleaner a few weeks ago, but I was hesitant to approach the vacuum for a few days after that in fear that it'd crawl out and jump on me...and I asked my husband to empty it...outside...away from the house.

*Turns out in a past life I was bitten by a black widow spider and suffered severe health issues because of it.

Storms:

I can remember lying in bed, heart pounding, with the covers pulled over my head sweating and breathing in stale air thinking the house was going to fall down on us during thunderstorms. Every single time a storm would hit, particularly at night, I found myself wide awake and petrified. When I was little, my parents bought blackout curtains for my room so the lightning wouldn't be as intense. When I got a little older, my dad gave me a pair of earplugs to use during an overnight trip to the beach that turned stormy. Whenever hurricanes tore through during the summer, I was convinced a tornado would spawn off of it and destroy our home, and I was anxious during the entire months of March and April simply because it was tornado season. Just the other day, my dad showed me a homemade story he'd written and illustrated for me titled "Thunder Boy" to try to help me overcome my fear.

When I married my husband, we moved to Wichita Falls, Texas due to his military orders, which is right in the middle of "Tornado Alley." I didn't know this at the time. My freak out was immense when I discovered it...and found out about "Terrible Tuesday." (Google it - I dare you.) And let me tell you, I've never seen such intense lightning or heard such ridiculously loud and low thunder in my life! At one point, I remember telling the Universe that it was unacceptable for there to be a tornado while we were living in Wichita Falls - the weather was sketchy a few times and tornadoes dropped in the surrounding towns, but they never came through Wichita Falls. When my older daughter was born, I knew I didn't want her to learn my fear so we spent a lot of time making a game out of thunder and lightning. Interestingly enough, where we live in Florida is also prone to severe weather and tornadoes (and yes hurricanes but that one is obvious) . My parents laughed when I told them this and said the tornadoes just follow me everywhere. Yay me.

*I have a very strong imagination. As a child, I would make us storylines for me and my friends to "pretend." A lot of the stories began with living in "old times," being out in the woods, and trying and failing to outrun a sudden tornado that swoops us up and transports us somewhere else.

Being Watched:

For as long as I can remember, I have had an unexplained fear of facing an opposing wall in my bedroom, turning around, and seeing a man standing in the doorway grinning maliciously at me. Ugh, it gives me chills just typing it out. Right along with this is a fear of waking up and seeing someone in my room staring at me (which has happened several time with ghosts and spirits). There aren't any incidences other than the stress of possibilities when my imagination took over and the feeling of creeped out fear that came with it.

*The other night I was rocking my newborn back to sleep in her room.

I happened to look toward the door, and the same image of the man at the doorway flooded my mind, bringing along the intensely creeped out feelings with it. I dwelled on it for hours before asking my mom to "tune in" to Spirit to see what she could get, even though I felt like I knew. It turns out that there was a lifetime in which I was assaulted by a family member while working as an indentured servant in their house.

I don't know if we even truly eradicate these engrained fears. For me personally, I know I still have heightened anxiety when I see a spider darting across the floor, hear a rumble of thunder, or feel like I'm being watched. I do know that understanding the root of these fears can help us learn how to move past them instead of allowing them to cripple us.


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